RETROGRADE

formspring.me

2011-09-11T00:23:00.001-07:00

Ask/ Tell Me Anything http://formspring.me/AshleyFeng

I'm back

2010-08-21T01:20:00.000-07:00

This summer: I was dating this guy named Wilson Zhu & I'm pretty sure we're over so let me just get this over with.

Thanks for: making me so entirely & truly happy, those late night gaming sessions, your cute voice when you're half awake, helping me become a better person, calling me at good times, being so understanding, giving me advice, not judging me on my family especially that one night, & so much more.

I saw this coming & it's the best for the both of us - I guess. Hah. I'll miss you. Aight, end of picture story.

were u hanging upside down?

2010-04-08T03:13:00.001-07:00

.. No o_o LOL.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

why did u black out? what happend?

2010-04-08T03:10:00.001-07:00

I just blacked out at Urban Outfitters. Something about blood and my brain.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

im saying...that people look at you different when u hang with "that crowd" and are less inclined to want to be a close friend of yours... but you are really nice and the fact that u smile even when ur hurting is an amzing trait in my oppinion..

2010-04-08T03:09:00.001-07:00

Oh okay, well thank you.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

Wat happened to u today???

2010-04-08T03:04:00.001-07:00

I blacked out ...

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

you are likeable...but seriously my friend went through this same thing...she said that everyone was like all worried and kinda distant from her cuz she hung out with a certain "bad crowd"...

2010-04-08T02:59:00.001-07:00

I don't think I hang out with a "bad crowd". They are good people with good intensions. How am I likeable and I don't feel distant. I'm just hurting.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

i think you should attemt to get out of that crowd...cuz they seem WAY differet from u... just tryyyy and hang out with some other people...you are very like-able..

2010-04-08T02:53:00.001-07:00

I'm not likeable. & I don't know who "other people" are. I don't know what I'm doing everyday.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

I know the pain you're feeling sweetie but chin up :) The world's a better place especially when you're smiling. You have one of those smiles that makes everyone happy.

2010-04-08T02:48:00.003-07:00

Thank you :) I smile all the time though. Heck, I even smile when I'm hurting. I'm insane.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

you are attractive and really nice. but...ur with the wrong crowd....

2010-04-08T02:48:00.001-07:00

If I was nice, I wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe I am in the wrong crowd, I don't know. It feels like it's too late to go back.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

2010-03-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

so whats gonna happen between you two? are you gonna be friends still? or did it end really bad?

2010-03-08T21:55:00.001-08:00

I don't know.

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

i think its kinda fucked up how you got abae into shit and you went on a break with him on the week of his court date.

2010-03-08T21:52:00.001-08:00

Yeah I know it was but the night that I said I wanted a break was way too much. Usually I would let those things pass but that night, no. Besides, it's not like I didn't talk/ see him during the week -_-

Ask/ Tell Me Anything

dfdsgdf march

2010-03-07T13:38:00.000-08:00

this dog is so cute :D

2010-02-26T22:21:00.001-08:00

bad day :/ djskladhklsad

Happy Valentine's Day / Chinese New Year

2010-02-14T00:14:00.000-08:00

^ A old picture from winter break. I miss Kimberly, on the left, so much. Today I took my camera to best buy to get her fixed. They say they're gonna take three weeks till she's all done :( I miss Bubbles oh so much. I feel so lost without her. Wow, I'm such a loser <3

but happy valentine's day + chinese new year

2010-02-12T23:14:00.000-08:00

Four day weekend :) Day one, spent with Andrew. Valentine's day & Chinese New Year Sunday! I like her rings :) ^

flickr l tumblr

Oh, & check out my friend's online store! click here

2010-02-10T16:24:00.000-08:00

2010-02-08T23:11:00.000-08:00

I got to meet my boyfriend's new puppy, Sandy, today. She is a German Shepherd / Border Collie mix & is the sweetest thing ever <3

WHY CAN'T I LET YOU GO?

2009-10-17T21:07:00.001-07:00

Why am I so selfish?
Am I seriously doing this?
I'm ruining everything.
________

I really messed up yesterday.
I didn't realize I was hurting those who actually cared about me.
I'm sorry. I took everything for granted.

The worst part; I don't think I can keep my promise.
I'm trying.

Thanks to Daniel Setiawan, Harry An, Wesley Feng, Ben Chou, and Nathan Spidell.
but thanks to David Kha -- you've made me realize what I'm doing to myself.
if only you could forgive me.

2009-10-10T16:01:00.001-07:00

dsadsagdfhfkjuyoluiolkgmjfgh

the past is haunting me

2009-10-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

it keeps hitting me again & again. I wish I had a time machine.

Nathan is so weirdd. He won't stop saying dude. Oh my gosh. Now he's talking like a fob & now he's cussing. Back to the dude thing. Aw, I think I got him sick. Tehe. So much homework. I hate this week. We did fun and fitness day today. IT WAS SO NOT FUN. Last day of swimming is tmrw, but I don't think I'm going to swim -- or should I? Aargh.

Ben Chou -- things will get better okie dokie? & If they don't, I'm always here for you no matter what. Family > everything else in the world.

Nathan is annoyinggggg :P

I Hate Mondays

2009-09-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

No matter what time of the day it is

2009-09-26T23:38:00.000-07:00

All I ever do is think of you. Jerk.

anyways, another long week of school. I am failing in algebra two. I hate math so much. I need to find a tutor before it's too late. Boohoo. I'm so sick of school.

NATHAN LEE SPIDELL<3

2009-09-22T23:56:00.000-07:00

I love you boobie <3

Anyways, another painful weekk of school. Drama's rising & Homecoming's coming up T_T I don't know what to do.

2009-09-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

091809 :] Gooodish week? Mm, my stomach hurts a lot right now. Got a new phone -- well, it's not new but yeah. Blackberrryyy Pearl - waiting on the charger.

2009-09-18T04:11:00.000-07:00

Wow it's 4:11 am. :] You probably will never see this, but you make really, really happy. I said this about the last guy but I don't know-- you're different. I feel really safe around you. You've been there for me. Sorry if I thought you were a creeper. I miss you.

Hoy es Jueves

2009-09-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

Missed first and half of second period today -- due to a stomache. No swimming made my day. I really, really want to go to China right now. Let's see; for the past two days, Nathan came to visit on Tuesday & then yesterday, Kevin came to visit. I really hate school, dsfh. Hace freakin' calor hoy. Yo camino con Nick Cai. Yo soy muy perezosa y necesito empezar la tarea. Yo tengo muchas pruebas. No me gusta.

I want to be a mermaid.

I never loved my mom so much as I loved her today

click for more pictures

As the Days Pass

2009-09-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

Jeff Han Continues to Inspire Me Each & Every Day

2009-09-15T01:46:00.000-07:00

"Death is an interesting topic, when I think of death I think of those who have been lost. Recently a person, whom I have decided to not name, passed away in a tragic accident. A driver under the influence had in fact crashed into him. This man was someone whose lifestyle I had idealized for quite sometime. He seemed to carry himself with happiness and sincerity, and his death is one that confuses me greatly because of the unfairness or unjust outcome. But after I found out about his passing I had thought of others I had lost and the feeling of regret and pain came into my heart, I would tell myself, "Ima live life twice as hard for this person!" But low and behold when I look back I didnt get anywhere close! I've been conflicting in my mind a lot because I feel like this man had a much stronger way of life than I have, and I come to tears thinking that I'm allowed to live while I have not earned what he has. He asked himself what he wanted... he said to CHANGE THE WORLD. I know a lot of people would write this, but how many would mean it, this guy was doing it! They weren't meaningless words, they were backed up by his lifestyle and his actions. Death is so sudden and does not discriminate, I've been told this all my life, life's a gift, and I'd think, "I know," but the experience of losing someone tattoos that onto your mind, I think of movie funeral scenes and how everyone's crying, I'd always thought those were unrealistic that it wasn't that dramatic, but the most powerful movies are the ones that get the closest to imitating the actual emotion happening in these times of grief and sadness. Truth is movies always fall short of what really happens, you remember their personality their unique attitude and reminisce on certain times you've shared. Time is so short,"as kids we used to laugh, who knew that life would move this fast?" I feel by looking at his life I want to love everyone like he did, so even if I don't know you, never met you, never shook your hand I just want to let you know that you are my friend, haha cliche. And if you have lost someone recently that you had loved, remember that their love for you has not left this world, but has simply changed into a new form or source that will continue to grow.

- GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN, YOUR MEMORY INSPIRES US TO LIVE ON"

It's on facebook, but I just had to post this.

I'm Sick

2009-09-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

Typical Monday. 1st period - We had a lab and a worksheet. Then a 7 minutes quiz on Sig figs. 2nd period - Walk around the swimming pool with Sebastian; So boring. 3rd period - Go over 8 questions. 4th period - finished my art signature thing. Freakin' fail. Lunch - study study study for Spanish. 5th period - Spanish test & start on project. 6th period - Talk about candy apples& watched Luther make smoke with his mouth. Nick Cai took me home again. Tweety Bird (: After he left, I fell asleep till 10pm. Shower. It's 12:07 & I didn't even start on my homework yet. Poo. My cold isn't getting any better either. I've been drinking so much green tea lately. I can't sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day?

Dear God

by Jennifer Ku

"Dear God you've been in my life

I took you for granted and strongly regret this
I know one day I'll be a good wife
but until then i only have one wish
that God i praise to you
you've seen all that we've been through
in tears we cry
and we wonder why
how could you be so glorious

to take all our burdens away

and that leaves me speechless everyday

how could you forgive so easily

when you've seen all our sins

you amaze me Father

nothing i say can bother

Your almighty presence is like no other
I thank you for all my sisters and brothers
they have helped me all

and picked me up when i fall

im thankful for everything you have given me

I have nothing more to ask for you see

I just thank you Father for my life"

Jennifer is such a great poet. She's been writing ALL my poem assignments since 6th grade. What would I do without this girlie?

That car is so sexy. I HAD TO. Sorry (: I want to drive so badly. My mom is being a meanie & is holding it off.

Pandas are so cute, right?! <3 Favorite animal in the entire world. Let's save the pandas.

Una Dia Con Mi Madre

2009-09-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

Today was boring. I went shopping & bought nothing. My mom, on the other hand, bought clothes & $200 worth of lotion at Paseo. She got ripped off. Then we ate at Souplantation! Mmm, cornbread. We got so full; we went to Marshalls. Homework time, goodbye.

Recent Formspring Submits Sept.5 -Sept. 13

2009-09-13T10:31:00.000-07:00

I Like this girl very much at school, but dont know if she likes me back and im afraid since we're close friends

i still think about you

hey baby, im laying in bed wondering wat ur thinking about. just want to let you know that today was a great day spent with you. One day ull be all mine and ill be able to call you my princess. You'll resist here and there but I know that i can get you to be all mine. If u havent realized im falling for you yet, well there u go, I'm falling for you and i think u feel the same... miss ya boo

i love your chinchilla! i had one years ago :)
-callherhollywood.tumblr.com

I think Ashley Feng is a really great person.

i am secretly in love with you
& im a vampire !!! >:[

Thanks guys.

this is my favorite picture in the world

A nice, relaxing Saturday.

2009-09-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

no worries / troubles

click on images to view large

2009-09-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/_asdfashleyyy/

I Can't Sleep at All

2009-09-12T03:42:00.000-07:00

I am so bloated right now, and it's 3:25am.

TGIF

2009-09-12T00:37:00.000-07:00

Another week of school has gone by. I can't believe it has only been two weeks. Drama is starting again. It's so freakin' ridiculous. It really brings me down; so much for being drama free this year. Friends are fading away, but at least I know who's a true friend & who's not now. I really wish that I can go to school just for class & just leave -- no breaks and lunches. I don't want to see anyone. Things change & there's nothing I can do about it. Spanish two is a bitch, too. I got a 40/41 on the first test though. Kindof happy, not really. Back to my day, first period was chemistry [ Goto ]. I sit next to my homeboy, Jeff Han. He cheers me up -- he's my savior. We worked with sig figs. Second period, PE [ Dohling ] -- aye. We ran one lap. Girls have to get under 2:15. Me & Fannie are always last, haha; we still make it with 20 seconds to spare. Then we did cone run on two other laps. Hace calor. Third period, assembly. During the 9/11 of silence, someone was blasting music. Retards. Eddie bought me a bottle of water. My legs are still sore. English [ Lucas ] - Omg, when she talks, all you want to do is sleep. I sit in the front & I still fell asleep; whatever. I don't care. Fourth period, art [ Lamb ]. Boring; did my name thing with the ink, stared at Charles, & text. Lunch, the worst. Boringest hour of the day. Stand, eat, stand, sit, eat, talk, say hi to people, sit, talk. Oh, there was a little mini fight thing. Fifth period, Spanish 2 [ Ortiz ] murder class. Nathan said he was going to visit but the door was locked. Sixth period, Algebra 2 [ Nairi ], laughed at Daniel Han, hw, text, write to Joanne Kang, talk, sleep. Went home & spent the rest of day with Nathan. Mm, yeah. Hopefully next week would be more exciting.

I miss summer so much.

Goals for the year: Get good grades, Start my portfolio, Become a better person, Pass permit test, Sign up for driving lessons, Go back to Art Class, Sell everything I don’t need, Tell my mom the truth, Learn to have patience, Make better decisions, Loose 6 pounds, Cherish what I have, Learn to take care of myself & respect others, Stop letting stupid things get to me, Go to church @ least once a week , Stop disapointing people, Apologize to my dad & hopefully, win him back, Get a LA Fitness membership, Learn how to do the laundry & cook, & Be strong

kthanx bye :c